These last few days I feel like I’ve lived the life of a butterfly, from the caterpillar to the cocoon blossomin’ butterfly. The last few weeks have been ones filled with pressure, anxiety, tension , an inexplicably explicable sadness of sorts, countless doubts and a whole shabang of the not so sunny side of life that the great kitchen called life has to serve. I’m not saying all those feelings got resolved or anything of the sort, I wish I could say that and say I will never have those thoughts again, but c’mon you and I both know that’s absolute and complete BS. Man, this summer has been a crazy one for starters, I feel like I haven’t had much of a chance to breathe…even though there are people who would say otherwise lol. In a way it has also been a very unique summer, where time literally flew right by, I mean one moment I was prepping myself to get beaten up by my exams back in school and was literally a day away from being done my finals and getting ready to get home, the next moment I was back home and gettin’ into the full swing of things on the wedding front then the next moment I started on my next venture of the being home series and before you know it it’s time for me to get packin’ to head back to school.
On the one hand while this summer was one where I reflected upon quite a few moments in the past few months and re-lived them mentally it was also one where my head decided it was time to play the word game and so it set out to come with up ideas in that upper chamber that never functions on demand and never stops when not in demand. I wouldn’t say that it was the ultimate summer as far as my writing is concerned, yes for the newly inducted members/readers of this insanity called my blog I am a full time student and a part time writer. I mean on the one hand I celebrated a 2 year anniversary with one of my projects, which I hope will be completed and will see the light of day in the ‘finished’/completed department, ‘cuz those who know me know that most of my stories are incomplete works in progress…all except for one, namely “The Locker Chronicles”…which again I must say not a lotta people have read, well except for one person I think, and we went into technical details with the story lol. And no I ain’t posting Locker Chronicles on here ‘cuz its way too long and much more wordy than what I’m churning out at the moment :P..yeah I know can you believe it? I used to be far more wordy than I am at this given point in time :P.
My battle with self doubt stems from a variety of things, but the one thing that was brought into question as a result of several factors was my dedication towards my goals. You know that saying right that goes along the liens of “When it rains it pours”, well lets just say I was having tropical storms and tsunamis up in thinking spot. I was having one of my ‘I accept that I shall be forever marooned on the Island of Loneliness’ moments when all this occurred, so that obviously sent me spiraling in a direction that I can’t even give a proper name to, its worse than one of those vector problems you gotta solve in Physics…you know the ones involving the calculation of total displacement using angles, trig and X and Y components…clearly you can see I miss the simple complexities of math and science :P…Anyway, I won’t say much else ’bout my self esteem ‘cuz at this point in time I don’t think I’m ready to hear things that I’m already very well aware of…not necessarily a whole bunch of people are aware of the factors but eh meh shmeh, I am and will be whatever and whoever I am because of a combination of permutations and combinations that are at times way too much for my miniscule yet overactive and moody brain to handle.
That being said, I’m pretty sure I knew where this entry was headed when I first started, but due to a few constant interruptions I’ve been pretty much run off the playing field into the sidelines, well more so off the playing field and the stadium and into it’s surrounding areas, which frankly is a lil’ scary. My mind is a jumble of thoughts, I was gonna have a lil’ bit of a movie review going on in here, considering how the familia and I went and watched “Salt” a few hours ago and I had a few things to write ’bout the movie. The next thing on my agenda was to solemnly state my declaration of reaching my half century mark on this word churning blog. I think the last time I checked I was sitting at 38…so it dun’ look too bad eh? And more than bad it dun’ look too impossible to hit that half a century mark, at least I’m past the quarter century…yayyyy. Right…moving along, and then I was gonna write ’bout the books I’ve accumulated which have brought me much satisfaction on the one hand and an absolute craving to go back to the bookstore and look for more :D. I was surprised to see that there were no Superman comics at the bookstore, though I was very close to buying the Final Crisis graphic novel….it looked AWESOME though of course I do wanna get the build up of books before Final Crisis. So yeah, I was let down by the lack of Superman graphic novels, but I did see Neil Gaiman’s Neverwhere in the graphic novel format and that was pretty exciting to see. It was exactly the way I visualized it but that book is bloody brilliant. All I have to say is that Neil Gaiman is bloody brilliant, if you get a chance to read his books please do so, though I must warn you that they are on the fantastical side of fantasy and a dash of sci-fi as well, but more so fantasy. For those of you who haven’t heard of NG, there are 2 movies in particular that were released within a span of 5 years I guess, that are based on his books…the movie Stardust and the other movie being Coraline. He has quite the vivid imagination and those books do transport you to another world, and he’s also the author of the series of “The Sandman” graphic novels.
Anyhow kids, I’m gonna end these series of thoughts scaling a multitude of topics, here. Hope you’re all doing well and that things have been goin’ well fer ye all. Oh on another concluding note, I would like to say that I have come up with a title for my 2010 collection of poems, I was sitting down to study and the first thing that popped into my head was the title. Shows you how keen my focus is on studying lol. Righto, well I’m off now and I shall be back on here later. Cheers and take care!