Bittersweet


Have you ever woken up feeling the exact same way you did when you fell asleep, ‘cuz when you fell asleep you figured sleep was the best thing to make you feel b8r, but only u woke up and everything was magnified a 100 times more and sleep just knocked you out as a temporary reprieve from all that you were feeling? Holy macaroni Batman, that was one long ass run on sentence, now I see why I wasn’t the most astounding student in English :(, oh well you do what you can with what you can right? :P. And besides who came up with the rules and regulations for a run-on sentence? Probably some really bored dude who had nothing better to do than make a language seem aesthetically pleasing. Definitely shudda joined a club, and put those thoughts to other uses, none the less the damage has been done and many countless generations have paid the price since then.

I’m in the mood for a bitter sweet love story, now I can choose to write one and you know mould and meld it however I wanted to, but yeah that would take a while to get done lol, and my patience is running a lil’ thin on seeing things delivered from the writing stables. Anyway I digress from whatever it was that I wanted to say. So as may have been observed or not, the last few days have been a reflection on that dang thing called memories, or at least the bittersweet aspect of those damn things Things that were put to sleep, put to rest and that I thought I had travelled far away from seemed to make quite a rockin’, shockin’ and grand entry back into my current zone of existence. Funny thing ’bout these things called memories is that sometimes ure the only one left re-living them or even thinking ’bout them while those associated with them move on. But that’s the thing with memories too now ‘en it? What you hold dear may mean nothing at all to someone else, but what someone else holds dear may not mean much to you…I guess that is kinda crummy to the parties involved :|. My brain came to a reasonable, rational and logical understanding, however, that darn thing called the heart apparently believes in going ’round in nutso meaningless circles and wasting time. I mean after all dear heartsy u gotta save up some time and space for all those future heart making and breakin’ situations. So seriously, get off your current high horse and look to the future, don’t worry the future has enough and more opportunities like the current one for you to return to that status, and you won’t know or feel any of it unless you leggo of the present moment. The future’s looking opportunistically friendly.

Wow, I just wrote a letter for my heart, things can definitely not get any more stranger than this lol, okay for me perhaps not, but hey I wouldn’t know ’bout you guys, I’m sure you’ve got something happening right this moment. Moving along, I watched the current finale episode of Leverage, have I mentioned how much I LOVE that freakin’ show?! *sigh* must wait till December, while that does seem far far away, on the other hand it’s closer to the time I’ll be heading back home…booyakasha! Okay just so we’re clear, I’m not procrastinating what I’m doing is working off some extra energy, burning a few calories and things of the sort. My fingers need the exercise and the coordination practise :D.

Man the best part is, the weather out here is a reflection of the way I’ve been feeling, although I do LOVE this weather, perfect breezes and wonderful rain. Of course on top of all that, my personal train a.k.a my wheezing came to visit me recently, so I’m trying to fight that dang thing off like there’s no tomorrow. Good thing I brought my inhaler-thingamajiggs with me. Take that weather change and all those things that wanna take a shot at my lungs, not that I doubt you won’t but for now ‘Victory is mine!!!!’ muahahaha *wheeze*, okay Imma ease up on the jubilant cries of victory until I know for a fact that its gone and has left me alone. Damn you wheezing, go find someone else to bother, and Oye! You there! Yeah you the someone else o’er there, have your inhalers/puffer/gadgets and devices ready!

A’ite so goin’ back to what I was saying ’bout memories and things of the sort, what I figured out was there really ain’t no point in having any ‘cuz you can only stop and stare at it, you can’t change it, you can’t do anything different ’bout it. Yeah sure all the smarty pants in the world tell you its not ’bout yesterday but ’bout what you do today that makes your tomorrow. Yes I do believe in that, but I just don’t wanna hear that today. My yesterdays, yeah sure they helped me become who I am; I mean if re-modelling and re-shaping yourself is the point of memories then the memories that hurt shouldn’t be that hard to look back at right when you do re-visit them? I mean you basically worked on making yourself stronger and indifferent to them right? So then why the hell doesn’t it hold true? I’m not a natural born pessimist, I can be quite pessimistic but it really does bite when you know where you could’ve fixed things, and how you could’ve made things way better and when you actually see things, and the moments much more clearly than you did before. Only, by then that train’s left the station and all you’re left holding, are those last few grains of sand that not a lil’ while ago was a fistful of sand. I think its even worse when you know you’ve been played, heck all you can do then is to laugh at yourself and laugh at the cards dealt to you by fate. If I could change things one thing I would do is walk the opposite direction from this one individual that I met after or maybe before an exam of mine back in Undergrad. Well maybe I’d walk back and clock ’em in the face for all the shit in the years to follow. But what’s the point, knowing my best friend Karma, it would come right back to kick me harder lol. Oh well, can’t control that which you feel, nor that which you can clearly see but others can’t and that you wish they would. Or maybe they do, but the memories of a distant not so happy past just make it a lil’ harder to act on ’em and do nething bout ’em.

This has been a very skewed if not childish and naive perception, but hey sometimes you gotta let that lil’ naive spirit within you blossom and flow out. Its like letting that lil’ kid who seems restless run around and round till they drop down exhausted and fall asleep. Let the soul train ride out it’s journey and perhaps hope that in time all will be well. Anyhoo kids, I gotta go get some business taken care of, to all of ya’ll embarkin’ on an akademik journey, all the best with everything in the upcoming yea, I hope you all kick some major arse with tests, exams. And here’s sum’n people forget to say, I hope the akademic year ahead brings about some of the happiest moments/memories and bonds that you can possibly form. Here’s a lil’ hope for that beautifuly, confuzzling yet profound thing called friendship. I hope you all find those souls/people you’ve been waiting for/looking for. Cheers and until next time be good and study hard or hardly 😛 Oh and don’t deprive yourself of entertainment, entertainment makes the world a much b8r place to live in :D.

Song(s) of the Day:

Song: Tujhe Bhula Diya
OST: Anjaana Anjaani
Release Date: Circa, 2010

Song: Tik Tok
Artist: Ke$ha
Album: Animal
Release Date: August 7, Circa 2009

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