Well procrastination is usually the word used to describe a person’s non motivational abilities to sit and study…I however, am not procrastinating and yes I’m aware denial is the first sign of admittance, BUT this is not procrastination, this at least for me is an outlet. This semester at school seems to be in not so many words, a Herculean task…now see Hercules was at least a freaking demi-god, I’m just mere mortal, unless there’s something my parents aren’t telling me, in which case they better tell me sooner than later. And by sooner, I mean right ’bouts now would be fantastic!
So since procrastination and outlets seem to be key phrases in the previous paragraph, I got one for you guys. What’s your inspiration? What motivates you to do the things you do? To keep pluggin’ n chuggin’? Okay sorry I shall rectify the statement before the questions, I got a few for you guys, the above 3 being a select few outta the barrage of questions that are teeming over in my head. But yeah, what gets your mental engine all revved up to face that thing ‘they’ call the big bad world everyday? I think what gets it going for me are my visions of the future, or rather of what I want to do in the future. I know this current journey of mine down Akademia Lane ain’t gonna end here, in fact this isn’t even my final destination. As Robert Frost once so eloquently said in one of his poems, “I’ve got miles to go before I sleep.” Though, I must admit, I do LOVE my sleep :(, and I think at this current point in time it might be a luxury. But, I guess in order to make a few things we hold close to our hearts come true we gotta make a few sacrifices huh? Actually, I don’t even know if those dreams/visions I have will be fulfilled, some people may call them ambitious, but to me it just seems like common sense. And of course, what I’m doing at this juncture in life is going to play a major role in some of the things that I would like to do. I guess it’s a matter of time, seeing how it’s one of the major players in our constant evolution as people and beings. Timing and place, those are two factors that are irreversible and unchange-able. I mean I’m sure time has graced us all with it’s eternal scars, reminders of the fires we walked through, of heart breaks and broken dreams and fairy tales. But, lets not forget the flip side to them eternal scars shall we? I mean if anything it has also blessed us with some of the most amazing memories, nah the word memories seems insufficient and too much of an understatement to describe the greatest moments of our lives. It sure as hell is an amazing bookmark back to the times spent with people who have left ginormous footprints on our hearts and souls. The neutral nature of time makes it both a boon and bane, but I guess instead of focusing on the bane, we really should appreciate the boon-ful aspects huh? But humans being humans, don’t necessarily always dwell on the most amazing things that have come to pass, I mean to me the most amazing times seem like the shortest lived times in life. If I were to stop and think about it, I can reflect on some of my most memorable times, by reflect I guess I mean I can re-live it and re-experience most of it all within the span of a blink of an eye. I do consider myself as a neutral if not calm person, at least from an external perspective, but that’s like saying that’s my astrally projected self’s view of myself. Internally though, I know how much of a broken and toxic person I am, and I think it’s the combination of living with that fact and fighting it that gets me going on a daily basis.
Yes I am aware that as human beings, we are our biggest critics, let me just clarify that I’m not criticizing myself but just stating the starkest of all truths about myself. That, and hoping and praying that people don’t turn out like me are things that keep me going usually, it’s a reason to see another sunrise, another sunset and in not so many words exist. If you’re sitting there wondering, what the hell that’s so selfish!, then take it from me don’t waste your time. And believe me, you’re better off not knowing what you don’t know, if you do have to know then there is a time and place when that will happen. Not everybody knows everything about people, and sometimes it’s better to just let people assume they know everything about you. That’s not supposed to sound as bleak as it does, but I say that because, sometimes knowing the entire and absolute truth about a person can have consequences and people have to be prepared. Very few, and by very few I mean very very very very few, it’s like a limited edition lol, know absolutely everything about me. It’s not a trust issue, it’s because I know how if not what the reaction would be, and so I choose neither to overburden nor overwhelm with a barrage of information. Heck I a’ready do that with words on this outlet :P, so why assault with more verbal diarrhea right?
None the less, I must get back to my current reality and keep my dates with my other words, the akademick ones i.e., and not leave them heart broken, ‘cuz we all know “Hell hath no fury than words and books scorned.” Trust me peepz, books hate you more than women do if they’re scorned and ignored :|…’tis a sad and painful truth lol. Well it’s been a fun time typing, I usually don’t remember what I started out with in the beginning, but, I think I remember this time around haha. My motivation comes from knowing one, a few or some of you read this and get some sorta kick outta readin’ it lol. If it amuses me, that’s just f’ing AWESOME, if it doesn’t then hey too bad deal with it, nobody held you at gun point and forced you to read it :P. Take care peepz, have yourselves an amazing day, if not an amazing week. Good luck to all of you starting out on the road to your new endeavors, and to all of ya’ll who are gonna start up new endeavors but dunno ’bout it just yet. You never know what surprises are lurking around to get you your stairway to cloud 9 :). Cheers and catchya on here next time, whenever that is :).
Song(s) of the Day:
Release Date: May 15, Circa 2005
Artist/Band: The Goo Goo Dolls
OST: City of Angels
Album: Dizzy Up The Girl
Release Date: April 27, Circa 1998
Song: Chalka Chalka Re
Release Date: October 29, Circa 2002