Monthly Archives: April 2011

Of all things Blue Blooded and Royal Purple

Oh my…perhaps the sun rose in the West today? :O…that makes it almost 2 for 2 without me running the risk of having a few days between posts…huh…either my fingers suffer from ADD or I just have an insane need to get a few words tossed out there. Brace yourselves for some alphabet soup and specialty mixed, tossed word salad :D…ta-da!

So looks like them stiff upper lip Brits had quite a bit of a Royal celebration going on now didn’t they? Before you start judging my reactions and comments to the whole Royal Wedding celebrations, do yourselves a favour and stop jumping to conclusions. Excessive jumping is bad for your health, yes both mental and physical, it sorta makes your brain loopy and loopy  brains just aren’t the easiest things to deal with. I should know, what with mine being loopy and having multiple personalities, or alters, as I believe is the correct technical term to use in psych circles these days.

I know there are a bunch of ya’ll out there who are going *yawn, drag..who gives a shit ’bout a Royal Wedding?* and are also spouting things like *Wtf? All that money being spent to cover this event could be used for other useful purposes* or there’s the other fav headline running the circles *Who gives a rat’s ass about stupid royalty when there’s other more important events happening in and around the world?* Well…here’s what I have to say to all of you people belonging to those fan fav clubs…that’s great that you don’t care ’bout it and consider your time well spent watching other things and paying attention to news matters that matter. But…here’s the thing that gets me…half of you jackasses spouting this shit are dumb fucks who don’t give a damn about the world we live in and couldn’t be bothered on any other news day as to what the hell is going on around the world. Hell…you should listen to yourselves spouting geographic profiles, they’re about as stupid as dumb as a bag o’ nails. Your ignorance is profound, so don’t you dare sit around and think you give a damn about the world ‘cuz you don’t. Gah! I had to get that off of my chest…the one thing, well outta quite a few things, that happens to be one of my pet peeves is ignorance. While it is bliss at times, it really does suck when it is something that’s flashed more often than none.

See a few days ago 2 people who were walking with me wanted to know what all the hype and hooplah about cricket was, and they said how even the word cricket sounded so British. Now me being the cricket fanatic that I am, I gave them the briefest history about the game and said that the game was originally invented/created in England. Now, the response I got was then how the hell did it end up in India? I was a little dumbfounded, but I let it pass, and I said well that’s probably because India was one of the last colonies that gained independence from the British. To which their collective response was what? really? India was a colony of England and actually fought for independence? Okay now you can’t blame me for getting a lil’ riled up and feeling a bit indignant about this, a part of me was ready to bitch slap them to New Delhi and back but I bit my tongue and enlightened them that India gained her independence back in 1947 on August 15th. To which the response was *dang girl you know your history and your dates*. Now one of these individuals is an African American and I had half a mind to turn around and say, look chica you and your heritage aren’t the only ones with history…that’s just your tunnel vision talking. I’m not being racist, but in all honesty I’m pretty sure she has no damndest clue about any form, shape or semblance of the history of Afrika. Heck, I don’t even know details about the history of Afrika, except that they got the short end of the imperialist straw. They were the one continent that got screwed over by multiple imperialist powers from Europe who decided it was time to broaden their horizons. Those bloody imperialists had a blast destroying a land and it’s people, culture and values. But, getting back to the fact of the matter, you don’t have to prove to the world that you’re an ignorant dingbat…it’s something that’s assumed and known…and heck I’m not asking for a miracle wherein you decide to read up on the history of the world, ‘cuz lets face it people history isn’t something that is everyone’s strong suit. But, all I’m asking is that you not walk around with tunnel vision or with your eyes and ears shut, please try and live up to the level of civility and sensibility that we as human beings claim we have. And while you’re at it, it wouldn’t kill you to respect people as well, especially people and their values you’re unfamiliar with. Do as to them as you would do unto yourself, and I’m sure you’ll find this in almost any and every religious text out there so don’t you dare tell me it’s unwarranted for and isn’t stated anywhere. 

Now going back to the Royal Wedding….now some people who bitched about it are married and this is what I have to say to you. You’re groaning about having to watch someone else’s wedding, when all it takes is switching channels or watching a movie or hanging out with friends to avoid doing so…at least you have the option of changing the channel, but, imagine the fate of all those people who were kicking themselves to stay awake just to sit through your wedding? Those unfortunate souls didn’t even have the option of changing channels with a remote…tsk tsk. Yeah the Royal Wedding was given a lotta press, yeah it was overly hyped, but at the same time there is one thing that needs to be understood. This is the last known ‘famous’ monarchy that the world knows of, yeah not everybody knows ’bout the kings and queens residing in Spain, Norway, Luxemborg, India (ooh surprise surprise), Brunei (don’t look so surprised, there is such a country, go google it up and while you’re at it why don’t you find out what the capital of Brunei is as well?) and well yeah there’s the Middle East as well but that’s a whole other kettle of fish to deal with. This royal family in particular has been in and out of the news for quite a few decades and everyone knows how much the paparazzi has been hounding that family, especially those 2 boys since their mother’s death. The last big thing about this family that was televised was the funeral of Princess Diana, so how do you not expect the wedding of her first-born to be telecast? Everyone has always been curious about Princess Di’s boys, their every move has been observed and scrutinized and splashed across newspapers over time. It’s about time something good/happy happening with that family was publicized/given importance to. Yeah it’s easier to say who gives a shit ’bout them? But honestly, how many times have you read the paper or read something online over the last decade or 2 that didn’t involve the antics of the Royal family? 

Now as much as I do dislike them colonialists for all the bloody damage and destruction they brought and delivered to the lands they ruled over, I did tune into the wedding. There were people saying stuff like oh why would you bother about this event when there are wars going on in the world? Here’s the thing people, the damn wars have been going on long enough, don’t you think it’s about time the damn wars stopped? Don’t you think we passed that time when we should’ve pulled out the troops? What good are the troops doing? If you’re gonna tell me stability I might kick your ass, what kinda stability do you see? Everyday there’s IED related deaths that get printed in the paper, more soldiers are dying, more parents are losing their children, more spouses their better halves and more kids their parents…are you telling me their tears and pleas meant nothing before? That suddenly we should all grow a conscience and a sense of awareness and focus on wars being fought elsewhere? How the hell is it that the one man responsible for wreaking so much havoc and death and destruction has still not been caught? How is it so hard to locate and capture Osama Bin freaking Laden? Wouldn’t you agree it’s been way too freaking long that this man has been on the goddamn loose? Like I’ve mentioned in many previous posts, we’ve all been overexposed to so much news about war and death that now we almost seem to be desensitized to such news, it’s like listening to another statistic. War is not a commercial nor an infomercial that you tune into to catch an update on every night on your local news network, it’s the beginning and end of many lives and many things.

Going back to what this post is all about, for once it was good to see something happy being over publicized…yeah it was a wedding, no it wasn’t mine but there was just something cool about seeing everyone decking up in their traditional uniforms and rocking out those tunics bearing their Coat of Arms. It was cool to see the Rolls Royce phantoms and stage coaches, I mean c’mon!!! You definitely don’t see things like that anymore. And in all honesty, I think Lady Diana would’ve been really really proud of her boys :)…it was a beautiful ceremony and one has to give that girl Kate some serious props. Not only did she carry herself beautifully and gracefully but she handled all this pressure and anxiety sooo well! She looked absolutely gorgeous in her wedding gown I must add and there was just all this grace and charm about her, here’s wishing those newly weds all the very best, I really hope the paparazzi doesn’t interfere with their lives as much as they did with Princess Di’s…or that the paparazzi just doesn’t get the satisfaction of getting the best of Kate.Weddings are a big deal, ask pretty much anyone who has been married and I’m sure they’ll have quite the interesting tale to share with you about their wedding. Nobody’s gonna say eh you know it was only just another day in our lives. Weddings are about celebrating life and basking in that quintessential glow of harmony and not everyone is fortunate nor destined to have a shot at it…so you tell me, what’s wrong with sharing that with other people?

A’ite so I think I’m done with my fluff piece for the month :P, it’s time for me to snap back to the reality of akademia and all those fun things that have been plaguing me for the last lil’ while. It’s a crazy feeling when you feel the walls around you closing in on you and making it harder and harder to clamber out of or to find a way to not let the pressure get to you. Coming up next time I think I’d definitely love to share a few opinions and thoughts with you peepz about one of my fav shows….no no not Smallville…not just yet …in fact Criminal Minds. That show is definitely an awesome show and there’s just something about it, which besides making me paranoid, and many a time has left me reeling and at times gagging, at just how dark a human soul and mind can be there are certain elements that just make this show amazing. If anything the highest of the highest honours and credit needs to go to the cast of that show, they do SUCH an AMAZING job in the roles they portray, I can’t believe that nobody from that cast has won an Emmy just yet..it’s such an absolute and utter shame. 


A’ite folks well it’s time for me to get going, but I hope all is going well with each and every one of ya’ll and I hope you have an amazing and fantastical weekend!!! Cheers until next time! Oh! I forgot to mention one more thing, I think I have the perfect design for a family crest/coat of arms, unless one already exists within my family that I’m unaware of :P…which leads me to this follow up question, I wonder if people have to register their coat of arms in like the world bank of coat of arms so nobody can replicate or duplicate ’em :|…whaddaya think?

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Haunted

Howdy folks…I hope all is going well with each and every one of you :). Most people are probably soaking in the awesome-ness of the long weekend courtesy Easter, well here’s wishing you all a happy and blessed Easter…if anything enjoy the time you get to spend with your family and friends and soak in the memories :). You never know when you’re gonna need the comfort of those memories to ease and appease your days, it’s that snappy, funky, crazy thing about life…it pops you in the nose some days and gives you a huge ass unexpected but very welcome bear hug on others.

Anyway, on other notes, have you guys ever woken up…and in those moments between consciously knowing you’re waking up and opening your eyes…you visualize the worst possible repressed/suppressed/worst memories ever? I mean the memories are just so clear, specific and so precise in every detail, it’s almost as if you got teleported back to that moment and you’re re-living every bloody nano/micro second of it. It’s not enough that you do everything in your power to block it out, to forget, to carry on and move along, but it really bites when it sneaks up on you and sucker punches you while you’re reeling to get your wits about you. Every time I think I’ve moved forward I loose my footing and go stumbling down that vortex and to be honest it isn’t a lotta fun. Every single time I can just feel yet another piece of me die, naw they don’t turn into horcruxes…I’m not into the darkest and most evil form of magic, Voldemort & Co. don’t really catch my fancy so eh, I’m part of the task force that would thoroughly enjoy kicking his ass. Speaking of which, for those of you who are as crazy ’bout that series as I am then I would like to inform you that the promo for the concluding part or rather the final chapter of Book 7/Movie 7 is out and HELL YEAH it looks freaking wicked….it’s booked and a done deal. Them HP movies just like the books are a family affair as far as my familia is concerned. 

None the less, I do digress….I was talking about them ghosts and nightmares that you wish you could either exorcise or forever banish from your thoughts and your mind. Turns out that isn’t a very feasible option just yet, yeah there’s ways to deal with it, sure see a shrink, talk to people about it, spread, diffuse do what you have to right? Yeah the more you talk ’bout it, the more you confront it the easier it gets to handle it…but end of the day you’re still the one bearing your corsses and picking your weeds and living with the weight of your thoughts. Of course you can choose to either let the weight of your thoughts suffocate you and bury you alive…some days it seems like the best thing to do, not because you’re a masochist, but, sometimes losing yourself in the darkness of your abyss and feeling the strain of your thoughts brings a new sense of clarity, a new sense of resilience and a certain degree of enlightenment…or at least that’s what I try to tell myself. That’s not to say there are some days where I just sit and try to sift through the remnants of myself, heck I’d rather call it shrapnel as opposed to remnants….there is nothing to remember in those tiny itty bitty memory pieces. It’s easy to say ‘get over it’, ‘move on with your life’ or ‘it happened so long ago it makes no difference now’, but, it’s a completely different story when theory is in the process of being applied. Yeah it’s easy to move on, but really what the hell does it even mean to move on? Isn’t it just the general concept and embodiment that’s you coming to terms with the situation that’s driving you up the wall? Isn’t it basically your mind and senses syncing up and calling a truce? Well guess what kids, there are some things in life that may take an entire lifetime before you end up coming to a truce with yourself. Wanna know what you do in the mean time? In the meantime you can choose the oft traveled path of ignorance, which might I add, is a very very popular path that people often tend to tread…especially in this day and age. We find it easier to switch off our thought processes and run far away from things that could potentially be labelled as our shortcomings. We love seeing that part of the reflection that enhances our concept of perfection, I mean it’s all we see or it’s all we’d rather see. I don’t exactly blame anyone in particular, except for ourselves. We’re so obsessed on marketing ourselves as the next best thing, if not THE BEST thing out there that somewhere along the line we forget that we’re just as delicate and fragile as that exquisite and crazy pricey Swarovski piece that just makes everything else look soooooo much better. Yes I’m surrounded by people who love absolutely anything and everything Swarovski (myself included)…though with me it depends on the piece, just cuz the name’s Swarovski doesn’t mean I’m going gaga o’er it…& before u ask yes I do like Lady Gaga as well, but I haven’t heard anything new so pls do me a favour and don’t decide to gimme a preview and sing sum’n that sounds nothing like the original. At least by doing so you can spare me the agony of going deaf just yet, I mean I know it’s written in the cards and is bound to happen somewhere down the line in the future but I would much rather prefer my deafness being the result of my wicked ways of cranking up the volume with the muzaaakkk rather than have some third party kill my hearing with their vocals….for instance, my lovely brother pulling an LG would be very injurious to my health. That being said though, there was this moment last year when I was on the phone with him and he started singing the sound effects part of ‘Poker face’…it was a very interesting conversation ‘cuz at first I thought I was losing my mind ‘cuz I wasn’t able to understand the words coming outta his mouth, then I realized he was singing….so I did the next best thing…I joined in. I’m sure mum thought we lost our minds ‘cuz at the end of it broda was giggling lol. Oh well losing minds is a genetic thing, I mean we had to pick it up from the folks :P.

The power of memory is both crushing and gratifying, in a way it’s the boon and the bane that humanity signed up for I guess. Like the power of choice wasn’t good enough for us to screw each other and ourselves over with, sure lets give these humans the power to recall and relive things and see just how they fare. Higher cognitive functioning mumbo jumbo nonsense…how are we any superior than all the other living systems if we don’t use the lessons of our past to solidify and secure our future? Hell we’re still following Hammurabi’s code aren’t we? Eye for an eye and tooth for a tooth? Sometimes the greatest scars inflicted upon a soul are those that are self-inflicted…sometimes that act of self infliction is not one that we consciously go about, but it’s that very power of memory that can either have us standing taller than the tallest structure in the world and sometimes it’s the very thing that reduces us to nothing but ashes in the blink of an eye. The M&M factor is a dangerous thing (Mind and memory not the chocolates but damn I could do with a pack of ’em right ’bout now) so do me a favour and try not to just bring out it’s ruthless side out…people these days are strapped for hope and it would actually be refreshing to see that not everyone is a conniving son-of-a-bitch with an agenda of their own who is trying to pull the other down. Sometimes a lil’ compassion goes a long way, sometimes it could literally be the difference between life and death. I know these all seem like such grandoise statements and repetitions of things echoed in the past but it’s just ridiculous, repulsive and annoying to keep running into the same bullshit on a constant basis. But that’s a tirade for another time and another day, if I ever remember to go on a mindless rant about it later then I think there most definitely will be something that I say then.

A’ite kids I think I’m gonna sign off on this post right ’bout now, there was a good span of a few days between when I started this and when I’ve finished this so if anything the thought process is a lil’ all over the place, but hopefully the next one won’t be quite as much. I have too many shadows and ghosts lingering around me, sometimes and some days some ghosts like to rear their ugly heads a lil’ more often than I’d like them to. It’s just difficult some days to sit there and verbalize your demons when just visualizing them paralyzes and cripples you in any and every possible way. It literally sucks the very life outta you that it becomes really difficult to put verbalize and vocalize it. No amount of dream catchers are gonna be able to do anything about the nightmares I have, but like they say life ain’t a bed of roses….if it ain’t a bed of roses for the living then whaddaya think it is for the living dead? That brings me to the next lil’ bit here, I have sum’n that’s the start of a poem, tel ya what, if and when I get done and done with it I might just post it on here, not sure though, we’ll see how it goes. Well on that note boys and girls I’m gonna exit stage right or left, whichever direction suits your needs 😛 and try and make my way through that long winded path that pretty much is the way to my dreams. I hope all is well with ya’ll and life ain’t handing you down too much of a beating…someone once told me that life only gives you what you can handle…so don’t worry you’ve got this under control and you’ll get through this, it’s why you’re here and it’s why you are who you are and nobody can take that away from you ever! Take care kids and here’s until next time!

We are not all born innocent,
We are not all born guilty,
Redemption is for those
seeking answers,
While salvation…
Is for those seeking
the truth.

Song(s) of the Day:

Song: Broken
Artist/Band: Lifehouse
Album: Who We Are
Release Date: July 8, Circa 2008

Song: Apologize
Artist/Band: OneRepublic
Album: Dreaming Out Loud
Release Date: November 20, Circa 2007

Thirteenth Step

Hey guys and gals…I know I usually just ramble off a really long essay about various things and various permutations and combinations of things causing those various things. It’s a vicious cycle of opinions :P…none the less today what I’m about to post is not gonna b an opinion based essay….it’s actually going to be a lil’ something I created on the eve of a very special day to me. Be forewarned that the following piece is a poem, so for those of you a lil’ aversive towards poetry stay away or go read or do something that makes your senses tingle with anticipation and excitement…otherwise check this out and I would really appreciate some feedback :). So be kind and leave a msg down below :D, thunkers and have yourselves a good weekend folks.There will be a post following this, probably some time o’er the weekend, but this is what I have for now, so when you’re done reading don’t be shy to leave feedback folks…haven’t you heard? Feedback is good for the soul :). Thanks for sticking around thus far on this insane ride/journey :), hopefully the wheels keep turning on here for a while before this particular train is outta juice and service…take care peepz!

<!–[if !mso]> st1\:*{behavior:url(#ieooui) } <![endif]–>

The Thirteenth Step
Step 1…you take a step
You take a breath,
And you make your
presence felt.
No inhibitions,
Actions of innocence;
An aura of purity felt.
Living life at it’s most
genuine,
And honest best.
Until Step 2 comes around.
Wobbly, shaky,
Hesitant…resistant,
You take your step
anyway.
Moving forward,
Swaying backward,
Shutting your eyes,
While skipping ahead;
CRASH…BOOM
Things falling apart,
The first layers of
An untainted innocence
shed.
Garnished with them
pearly tears,
Learning about
That good old myth
called fear;
Savoring, better yet,
Tasting that very first
Dose of reality…
Confused, bedazzled,
You keep looking ahead.
Not knowing to,
Nor wanting to,
But out of compulsion,
Out of being told to
do so.
Being cajoled into
learning that
Oh so mighty lesson
of bravery.
You know the one,
You’ve heard it before…
The one they call a true
friend,
The one they consider
To be nothing short of
a devastating blow
To many a foe…
Or so you are told,
So you are taught;
Nodding your young
innocent head,
Confused…bewildered,
And wiping away,
The rest of your tears,
You set foot
Onwards to Step 3.
A little less confused,
A little less dazed,
Though life still passes
you by in a haze.
Shedding those layers
Of naivety and purity,
Without realizing,
Without seeing,
You move along,
You carry on…
Trudging…some days,
Racing ahead on any
other given day.
Faster than the gusty
wind,
Racing along with you
With that spirit,
That need, the urge
To grow up faster,
To grow taller faster,
Learn sooner,
Leave earlier,
Live dreams sooner;
And before you know it,
The blink of an eye,
Snap of a finger,
The world you live in,
Comes crashing down,
Up ahead atop your head.
Stuck, broken,
You scream out…
In confusion, agony, pain,
Where did I go wrong?
You question, you ask.
Don’t give up!
You hear the voices
in your head,
Repeating and whispering
unto your self.
Rise above!!
You hear them cheer
you on.
Memories of your long
time friend bravery,
Resurfacing, and,
Finding their way back
to you.
Serving to be the epitome
of loyalty
And all things a friend
should be.
You choke on your tears,
Broken by your fears;
You look up,
To that unknown
ethereal power.
Your angry tears,
Blazing their trails,
Fuelling that fire,
Burning deep inside…
You question, you stare,
You glare…you shatter.
And out of the blue,
You feel a warmth,
Surround you…
Embrace you…blanket
you…
Whispering words of
comfort,
Humming sounds of
hope.
Until…there it is…
That little crack of light,
That little sliver of
hope,
Making it’s presence
felt.
Giving you the strength,
To pick yourself up,
And march onwards,
To Step 4.
Away, away,
You keep walking,
Onward towards
Step 4.
Pondering a way,
To not let the darkness
consume you whole.
You stop a while,
And revisit,
Those lessons of a
time passed.
Memories renewed,
Victories re-savored,
Defeats re-lived,
They jolt you to life.
Suddenly the path
ahead,
Doesn’t seem as scary
anymore.
Those doubts of yours,
Don’t question you
anymore…
You take a big, deep
breath,
You step ahead,
And dive and plunge
on,
Off towards Step number
5.
They say confession is
good for the soul.
What they never say,
Is whose soul,
Feels the coolness,
Or the gentleness
Of that balm of peace,
clarity and serenity.
What they never say,
Is how twisted,
Or wicked,
A soul can be.
To use your pain against
you.
To revel…
In the brutality and
cruelty,
Of crushing yours,
Into infinitely, tiny
pieces.
Neither hindered by
consequences,
Nor perturbed by the
turning hands of time;
Confessed, tried,
Tired and emptied…
You keep walking on,
Head held high,
You stride on,
Off to Step 6 you go.
You find yourself
in a cycle…
Confused, it makes you
wonder,
Makes you contemplate,
and acknowledge,
Those little pranksters,
Consequence, and,
awareness.
You reflect…you ponder,
And then…
It hits you!
Life isn’t about,
Being a bed of roses,
Nor is it
The fiery furnace of hell.
You…like the way of life,
Need both your paradise,
And your hell,
So as to learn, live and
lead.
You realize,
Without chaos,
There is no order.
You learn the simple,
Yet ultimate truth
Of acceptance.
Lesson learned,
Wisdom secured,
You walk ahead.
Filled with a renewed
Sense of humility,
On towards Step 9 you
go.
At Step 9,
You stop…you pause,
And take a look back;
At how far you’ve
traveled,
And wonder
Just how much further
You, have yet to go.
You look back,
At good times had,
At bad times,
You wished never
happened.
You heave a sigh,
Wishing you could
turn back time,
Right your wrongs,
Take away the painful
memories;
Swearing never to
do that ever again.
With your new found
companion Repentance,
You walk together,
Up ahead on that path,
That leads to Step 10.
With promises,
And vows,
Of righting
All those wrongs you
once caused.
Like someone on a
mission,
You march forward,
With promises to keep,
And a conscience to
ease.
At Step 10,
You wait a while,
You find a need
to linger.
To remember,
All you lost,
Yet all that you gained.
Paths walked…
And paths you strayed
away from.
Shaking your head,
At your follies,
Cracking a smile
at your naivety,
You walk on towards
Step 11.
A twang of regret,
Making it’s way
through,
Regretting the loss,
Of an age of innocence,
Of purity…of naivety;
To a world we lost…
At Step 11,
You meet your long lost
friend,
Well forgotten enemy,
Reflection;
A reminder of,
Things you did,
And secrets you hid.
You wonder…you
question,
Whether or If
You could make a
difference.
Questions swirling,
Doubts twirling,
You tread lightly,
Towards Step 12.
At Step 12,
You befriend,
Your long lost friend…
The one piece,
Of that puzzle
you call life;
You meet Redemption,
Hand shaken,
You embrace each other,
Whispering solemnly,
Of sights seen,
Lessons learned,
And ultimately,
You bring up
Your quest for salvation;
From demons,
Too many to scare away,
From ghosts of past,
That have worn you
down to the bone.
To save those,
From the pitfalls,
You once had.
Hand in hand,
Taking almost full
command,
Of this darned thing
called life,
You walk forward,
Boldly, bravely…
With a confidence
anew,
Up, up and away,
You say,
On to Step 13,
Let’s make our way.
At Step 13,
You wonder…
Is this salvation?
Or is my salvation,
The lessons I lived
through,
All those 12 steps ago?
You smile a small,
Yet whole-hearted
smile,
With the knowledge,
Of your salvation
Being the journey you
traveled.
And at Step 13,
You meet the oldest,
Yet closest friend of
all,
The mighty friend we
call Wisdom.
A sense of peace…
Of tranquility,
Seeps through your
pores.
A feeling you never
felt before…
And you finally see,
and feel,
The warmth of that light
You once saw…
That tiny sliver,
That found it’s way,
Into the abyss,
You once fell into.
With a sense of fulfillment,
You savor the light.
Bathing you in it’s
radiance,
You realize then,
How your life,
Has come full circle.
You realize,
You, are your own
cause and effect.
With a realization so
profound,
You set off on a new
journey.
A new path you build,
You create…you walk
To share your
Treasures of wisdom,
And wealth of knowledge.
No longer ignorant,
You walk ahead,
Not with a trace of
hesitation,
Nor overconfidence,
But, with a sense of
purpose,
And a sense of being
one,
Not just with one’s
self,
But also,
With all that around
us,
And all that surrounds
us.

(SJ, April 12, 2011)

Rambles, Jambles and Countless Brambles

I’ve always loved that word brambles, a tingle of excitement rushes up my spine when I read that word, for some reason it always reminds me of Enid Blyton’s Famous Five…for those uninitiated all I have to say is you kids (I don’t care how old you are) have been seriously deprived. Gimme her books to read ANY DAY and I will curl up in a corner and spend my time reading those books. I used to LOVE (and still do) reading that Famous 5 series along with her collection of short stories. They dealt with pixies and fairies and gnomes and awesome things!! Now that’s what a child’s imagination needs a lotta exposure to. That whole concept of free your soul free your mind, there’s just something about reading and music that can do that and I highly recommend that this revolutionary freedom movement be started at a young age. You’d be surprised at how much you can stand to learn from kids and how much more they can stand to learn from you. No I’m not a parent and yes it’s very easy for me to dish out advice like this, next thing you know I’m gonna b getting these emails saying great so we freed their souls and minds and now they’re wreaking havoc that involves cleaning up after them 24 hours a day…thanks we were used to doing so only 16 hours.

Anyhoo it’s been a while since I came on here and let out some verbal steam :P…oh woe is you indeed. For most part it was to rant about a plethora of things, but for the life of me I can’t remember a lotta things that I wanted to go on about. Well if anything I’m sure it included akademia seeing how a majority of the pain in the arses arise from there, and then I guess I’ll find my way from there.

Ya know all those people you see cutting corners and who pretty much entice you into wanting to say ‘screw it’ to your values and principles? And I guess pretty much has you wanting and wishing for that thing called ‘karma’ to kick in full force pretty much any time now? Well I kinda had that moment or rather I’ve been having more frequent episodes of that moment these past few months, but end of the day I can’t abandon my value, ethics or principles for sum’n low and underhanded. However, I’m no saint and I’m not gonna say I don’t wish sometimes the people around bitching and whining ’bout things, even though they go about achieving said things in the most unworthy manner, get dealt the hand they deserve. But then again, who am I to decide who deserves what and how they deserve it. However, this past week something along the lines of a miracle happened lol, so all those unscrupulous gits who get by on copying and cheating off of each other (don’t gimme the it’s a highly competitive atmosphere so you gotta do what you gotta do bullshit, ‘cuz that ain’t gonna win you any sympathy from me) finally…I mean FINALLY got deprived of a few things. Apparently while doing our test while some people were using the sharing is caring policy, the teachers swiped their answer sheets from right under their noses…funny thing is that they did this for the last test :|…wat the hell were they doing the rest of the year? :|…Hey maybe there were a few ppl who weren’t cheating and musta looked around staring aimlessly at some point of the room to gather and collect their thoughts. I know I stare at the whiteboard or the ceiling, I mean honestly I’m ’bout as blind as a bat and I clearly don’t have enough time nor skills to break into a building more likely a lab and plant answers at distant spaces :|…Besides that, this particular class we have one of the profs who comes in to administer/proctor the tests has like twitching problems when it comes to putting up slides for us to identify. The speed at which he zooms around a slide to get us to ID it gets me all nauseous…it’s like I have freaking motion sickness from him zooming all over the dang slide. Anyway, he hates us and our guts, but the unfortunate part is that he hates the rest of us because of the actions of a few. Yeah I understand he can be and is a total dick as far as allotting points and things are concerned but that does not warrant neither does it excuse the kinda behavior some people exhibit. I mean gimme a break, this guy has dealt with this area for years! To try and strong arm him in his area of expertise, which might I add you’ve only been studying for a year, is just bullshit and absolutely ridiculous. I think people forget at times, that regardless of where they get to in life or what they are in life respect is something that is earned, deserved and given to people regardless of the situation you’re in. Throwing a shit fit or a tantrum does not warrant nor justify your demanding nature. I mean didn’t you learn that when you were a kid? If you didn’t jeez someone needs to slap you now. Believe me, nobody gives a fuck as to who you are…status is something that is a very fickle thing, you may be someone today or you may think you are someone today but tomorrow you will be about as obscure as a grain of sand…and darling thing about grains of sand is that it can be blown away pretty much anytime without fore-warning. Never forget the value or worth of respect wherever you are…I mean hey I’m not one of those alpha-females who tries to call the shots or believes they are far better than anyone else and I’m also not one of ’em turncoats who flows with the stronger current because they’re too afraid to try and stay afloat on their own and make it through…nor am I the one to go for cliques, the whole clique mentality is a real life stunting ordeal if you ask me and I’m all for individual growth instead of being a groupie. That doesn’t mean that there won’t be times when you sway for the groupie effect ‘cuz sometimes it just makes more sense than your individual stance and more importantly it depends on the situation you find yourself in. I’d love to tackle the leader and follower paradigm as I think it’s a concept that is misunderstood. A true leader isn’t one who holds himself or herself in any for of superiority complex, they are people who value and respect anyone and everyone’s opinion. They never put their needs and agendas above everyone else…they are the epitome of loyalty that too of a very fiery kind. You mess with that you’re asking for trouble pal, you might as well wish you were in the 7th or 8th realm of hell. They give you a hand when you fall instead of walking away and letting you be trampled all over the place…for them nobody ever gets left behind. They need not be living examples of peace and tranquility but they have absolute faith and conviction in what they believe in and the best part? They see everybody as equals, they don’t let it get to their heads that they’re leaders. Words aren’t the only things that make a person, actions and mannerisms do as well.

This journey I’m on at the moment, I set out on it with hopes, dreams and aspirations to help others in a much larger capacity…no I’m not aiming for Nobel Prize speech 😛 psht! Then you’d really have to get the Committee’s head checked lol…one of my backup akademik options was Law, however when I told my parental units about my interest in Law and how I was thinking about it, the first comment outta their mouths was “Oh hell no you aren’t cut out for law, you’d be an absolute door-mat.” I was quite befuddled with their response, I mean here I thought I had made a giant leap into something substantial only to realize that I was falling short of my safety net to land in and instead I’d have to brace for impact for the impending fall. Yeah crashing and boomin’ ain’t exactly the most beautiful thing in the world, but hey with every fall you only get to learn how far off you are from the landing zone, or at least that’s what I keep telling myself. You know how when a gadget doesn’t work you ultimately throw your hands up in despair and frustration and just smack the object that’s your bone of contention? Well one of these days Imma be doing that with my head, if my brain doesn’t shut up with silly and corny anecdotes I’m definitely smacking it lol. Not that I don’t, but this might be on a more repetitive basis :|. But like I was saying before I went all tangential, was that, apparently to be on this current journey involves quite a bit of politics and a bit of a business acumen ‘cuz apparently there’s a worth limit for everybody that gets calculated pretty much the first day you start. And your market value is like the stock exchange, and by market value I’m not talking ’bout your relationship status, it extends from pretty much the social networks you possess, how many people you know that you can squeeze for information access. Trading is equivalent to how much gossip a person is worth, I’m assuming the higher the gossip the greater the status ‘cuz bloody hell you’re all everyone ever talks about which means you have some sorta standing I assume within the community. Even if you’re called the biggest bitch everyone wants to be your BFF ‘cuz knowing you = sharing the same frame/picture/space thereby getting into everyone other all access pass’s lil’ contact book. So apparently now to be able to help people I gotta be a fucking politician, business person, liar I mean lawyer, and a stock trader? WTF?! Clearly I’ve avoided the above mentioned paths mostly due to my slight shortcomings in those respective areas lol. Ai karamba….I’m screwed aren’t I?

My folks always tell me that I tend to be an idealist and that the real world is a pretty feisty, crooked and messed up place…and that I’m still too naive. I think what they don’t realize is I’ve seen quite a fair share of the ugliness the world has to offer, ‘cuz that tends to pop out more often and be highlighted more often than the beauty the world does offer. I’d rather be a delusional idealist and optimist than turn into a jaded pessimist just yet, yeah sure I’m a bit jaded, but I still believe in the good that we have within us. There’s always a lil’ sum’n hidden within each of us, some people prefer resorting to their not so awesome natures for quite a few reasons. One of those reasons being it’s easier for them to snap at and dismiss people than it is to give them a shot and value them for who they are. Another reason is the ‘it happened to me, so someone else deserves it’ mentality. I mean are you people just too stupid to realize that by doing so you aren’t helping anyone out and it’s always gonna be a vicious cycle. Wouldn’t you rather break it than allow it to go on? I mean we’re homo sapiens, we’re the most developed of all species…yet we’re so retarded :|..it’s amazing. You have the chance to break stereotypes, to break down walls holding you down, to make things b8r if not simpler for those after you, for teaching and setting examples for those to follow. Yet we choose not to…the question as to why we hesitate to do something that would benefit so many as opposed to ourselves is perhaps one of those mysteries of life questions a.k.a the big questions that many more besides myself will ponder. I mean I see it everyday where I’m at at the moment, people refusing to share information with others ‘cuz God forbid everybody is on or at the same playing field…I’m telling ya life is one big circus, just looking at these clowns trying to strut their authority o’er others outta some hormonal imbalance or a sense of impotency is just freaking hilarious.

Well I guess I should end on this note, all I’m trying to say folks is that try and live your lives with as open a mind as possible. Try to live your lives blinder free if anything or if you do try taking a break from it from time to time, the littlest things always contribute to the biggest changes. It’s like the old adage, it takes droplets of water to make an ocean…we’re all connected you know? You and I…I dunno how, when or why, but our paths will cross at some point in time and for those whom we’ve already crossed paths with…if we’re still in touch I hope we never take each other for granted. Try thinking of an alternative scenario…what do you think would’ve happened if our paths never crossed? Would you still be where you are? Doing whatever it is you’re doing? Would you still be the person you are? There’s some food fer thought now :)…well I hope all is well with everyone and I hope everyone has/had an awesome weekend…here’s wishing ya a rockin’ week ahead. Hey I know the week ahead is gonna be an awesome one for me :), reasons will follow later :D..haha. Cheers!

Song(s) of the Day:

Song: Piano piece from Criminal Minds episode titled Coda
Artist: Composers of the CM soundtrack
OST: Criminal Minds (Season 6)
Release Date: Well the date it aired was February 23rd, Circa 2011

Song: Illuminated
Artist/Band: Hurts
Album: Happiness
Release Date: September 6, Circa 2010