Journaling the Journey

Wow…re-reading that subject line makes me question the spelling of journey, actually more than questioning the spelling, it makes me wonder about the origins of the word. This has definitely got to be a record since the blog started…I don’t think I’ve dished out as many words on my virtual canvas on here, than I did back in first year. Of course at that time, the sole intent and purpose was to find time in my ever changing crazy schedule, so I could give you guys a glimpse into the life and times of me, myself and I. You never know when all this verbal carnage will come in handy…Can you imagine it? Me conquering the world, the way I deem fit? Don’t worry there should be a minimal chance of stage fright, on my part at least, and also a very slim chance of a corny speech, but I hear corny speeches happen regardless of whether you want them to or not, ‘cuz you’re overwhelmed by the shock factor of being recognized and awarded. My mirrors (oh and trust me I have quite a few at my place, no it’s not really my vanity that’s the cause…and believe me I tried the whole ‘Mirror mirror on the wall’ thing, didn’t really work, the mirror chose to be silent….maybe it’s ‘cuz I asked it in the wrong language…चलो अगली बार हिंदी में पूछ लेती हूँ.) Have I told you just how much I LOVE having that option of using Hindi on here? It just makes my day!

When I first started this blog, I wanted it to be an almost daily reflection of my adventures, trials and tribulations on this fantastic and adventurous journey I’ve embarked on. To be able to walk the first few steps of that path to the biggest dream you’ve ever had is something close to a reverent feeling, it’s a momentary feeling of being one with the world…well if you’ve never really felt that I highly recommend you start picking up some meditation techniques. Not that meditation is something I indulge in these days, I find the quiet to be quite noisy, there’s a shriek to the silence that defies and pretty much belittles all other shrieks and screams. The quiet just gives rise to more thought processes being stimulated and I kinda lose focus on the most important thing ’bout meditation…i.e gaining and maintaining focus. Initially I was able to share a few interesting adventures via this outlet, but then with time…well especially last year blogging wasn’t exactly something I had the time for, and when I did have a little time, trust me it was well spent on sleep and recuperation. Recuperation being quite the quintessential component to maintaining one’s sanity…then time passed by and I metamorphosed into a wall or rather a cavern of disappointment and bitterness. I found it highly ridiculous and ludicrous that unethical bullshit, unfair advantages & linguistic advantages were something that played a greater role in the success stories of quite a few people, so far, in the same program I was in, while a few of us believers in that old adage of ‘fair and square’ quite literally got screwed over. You might think it to be a case of sour grapes and all, but trust me kids, be in my position for a milisecond and you’ll sure as hell know the difference between sour grapes and being consumed by a blackhole of rage. There is a deep, dark pit that some people completely overlook in these cases….you see it’s one thing to feel the things you feel when certain things happen during a moment and then to let it go when the moment passes, and, it’s something else when you clinch on to those things for life. It’s extremely toxic to do so, it’s not just toxic in terms of a social life but it eats away at your mind, and the most important thing that will help you survive and overcome the general BS of the world is the power of the mind.

I mean c’mon who gives a damn ’bout a social life? A social life and circle is only as existent and dominant as you want it to be. People cannot make or break you, but you on the other hand can definitely make or break them, sounds like a buncha paradoxical bullshit doesn’t it? People think they can own you, it’s funny the ways and means in which they try to do so, it makes me laugh when people try to exert their control/charm (please it makes me roll my eyes and makes me wanna gag) over me…the best part is waiting for the right moment and zapping them with a sizzling answer…BAZINGA! Aah nothing feels b8r than shooting down a jerk…try it, it’s quite therapeutic…oh and when you do add a nice dollop of sarcasm to it too, it gives things a tangy flavour, if not it definitely adds a zing/spice factor into the conversation, and best part, people won’t mess with you, unless they’re dumb as doorknobs.

All I can foresee for the current, inevitable future, is a journal mostly ’bout the leaps and bounds I’ve made, from that fresh outta Uni undergrad with a gazillion dreams, hopes and visions in her eyes, to that quiet spectator with a few more years of wisdom, a shorter fuse but with those very same eyes that see those same old dreams and visions (of course some of the visions and dreams have tapered down, on the basis of logic and rationality…I mean c’mon how can I get a unicorn any time now? Unless I knew what would convert stone to life, then that would be a different thing all together). Yes in case you haven’t realized…it IS all about me! I’m not sure of my growth as a person, no unfortunately I stopped growing vertically a while back (curse you growth hormones for not doing a more efficient job while I was a blossoming teen…you shattered my dreams and wishes of being 6 feet tall *sigh*) and the horizontal growth is always a work in progress. The more I see on this journey, the more I wonder as to which disillusioned idiot came up with a list of noble traits and characteristics as prerequisites for one of the most noble professions in the world…I wonder what they would have to say if they saw the current bunch of nobilists sullying the very noble profession unto Kingdom come. I’ve rolled my eyes far too many times, that I think I’m a living, breathing, eye-rolling specimen. Which is not to say the ride so far has not been a fun one, oh trust me it’s been a rip-roaring entertainer so far….there are lessons you won’t ever forget and then there are people…Oye vey, the people you meet on this journey are unique, special and absolutely priceless in their own way. I’m actually contemplating doing a character sketch of each person I meet/have met over the past few years/months/weeks and posting it up on here. I’m sure you guys must have bumped into similar people while making your way through your respective journeys.

Well I’m gonna end things rather abruptly on this note, I had an incessant need to spew my verbalage out…it’s been a super trying day for me and while I would like to rant and bitch about the idiotic morons all around me that make up for a majority of the population, I’m still in the process of modifying my language and diction control so I can try and stay and neutral and diplomatic as possible….though I’d be surprised to know just how long that neutrality is gonna last.Well have a great weekend folks and please take a moment or two to pay your respects to those who sacrificed love and life to save and protect our rights and freedom. They will never be forgotten, they will always be our heroes and most importantly their lives were never lost in vain…they will always be our brightest beacons of hope, justice, peace and freedom. Remember…remember…this Remembrance Day., all that we lost for all that we gained.


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