Well I’m not trying out a physics experiment for one, I think I got a few loose springs in the head anyway. It’s been a tumultuous time these past few weeks, actually they’ve blitzed by so fast it’s been a little difficult trying to hit the pause button and ease up to stop by and share a few thoughts, sentiments, plans and random vent-age of frustrations. Eh nobody said handling different aspects of yourself and your life was gonna be easy, but at the same time nobody said u can’t have fun while being a juggler, regardless of your rather flummoxing, dig-a-hole-and-bury-yourself-in-it disappointing, hand-eye motor coordination skills. Worst case scenario? Whatever you’re juggling takes a nice dive onto your head and cracks one on yer noggin…apparently that’s supposed to be enlightening
Man, lemme tell you something. Every time I head off on towards the next stop on my journey I have these side-bar adventures. Each of these side bar adventures I wind up on, I meet interesting people, and the weirdest part (at least so far) that I’ve encountered so far is that at least one of these people I meet have clepto tendencies towards food (mine included along with others) and walk around like they’ve done nothing at all. Talk about trashy, crassy people with some smarts. That being said though, I do have to credit them for their smartness, they don’t just gyp off one person’s stash in one go, they rotate, so the actual owners have no clue they’re missing things until they’re keeping a keen eye on their stocks. And by that, I mean unless you’re counting EVERY single thing in there, you won’t know you’ve had your stuff taken away. Honestly, I have no idea how these whack jobs manage to cross paths with me :|…maybe there’s something just as whacky about me too, and the Universe has this massive plan of having a whackoparty where all the whackos of the world meet up and socialize in whacky ways?

Anyway specimen #2 who we shall call the Towel Trotter and is also food thief and general supplies thief, was from the domestic side of the shores, the first one was Psycho from across the ocean. Thankfully that adventure is done, as mentioned in a previous post. So specimen #2 has some severe mental problems, she LOVES talking with her hands, if her hands had vocal chords they’d do all the talking for her, they’re more expressive than her facial expressions. Man and you knew she was in the house, ‘cuz you’d hear a continuous stream of door slams, be them cabinet doors, the fridge door, the main door, her bleeding room door…mother of God, the woman was a noise generator, who had the audacity to declare that I’m perpetually depressed ‘cuz that’s how my face looks :S. Seriously? Where the hell did you get your social skills from? A fortune cookie? And she’s one of those classic examples of people who I’d like to call distracters…you know the kinda folks who like to give you all this additional info about their lives that you neither care about nor asked them about but they feel it’s their job to tell you. It’s their way of trying to get your entire story, so as to hit your weaknesses and strengths, and see what kinda person you are. I know I’ve mentioned this in earlier posts, but seriously people you guys need to stop assuming that everyone around you has 500 different masks slipping and sliding into place with hidden agendas…I mean hell you wanna know something about someone, sometimes just asking them the damn question directly would be helpful. Oh yeah and she’s a.k.a the ‘Towel Trotter’ ‘cuz the last day we were there she decided to come and have a conversation with me clad in her towel :|…I had no idea where the hell to look lol, and my folks had such a good laugh at my expense. She went on to explain how her clothes were in the washing machine…Man! If your damn clothes are in the washing machine then maybe you should wait until they’re all done and ready to be worn before coming to talk to me…jeez…she pulled the same damn stunt on the morning we were all moving out and offered to help me empty the dishwasher. My biggest concern was that damn towel coming off :S…dang guy I had other things to get done and done with and this loco chica comes about clad in her towel wasting my time and then trying to help, when in reality all she was doing was doubling my dishwasher clearing time. And of course you know what happens when you express these concerns to the parental unit :P. Their response was ‘Oooohh maybe she was trying to hit on you or sum’n’ *wink wink, nudge nudge*…talk about the mother of all eye rolls. Man I’d be glad if someone was trying to hit on me, but in all honesty if that was the attempt on trying to hit on me then that’s literally like running over me with a bus :S…c’mon chica brush up those skills *tsk tsk*. Even I know that, and that’s saying something man….clearly this is an indication of spring fever in the air.

Other than that folks, it’s been a crazy time and a super rough time…I’ve been having to re-evaluate thoughts and sentiments about the way I see and do things and most importantly the way I see myself. There’s been moments in these past 5 weeks where I’ve felt like the world’s biggest dumbass who seems to not be cut out for anything. Lemme tell you sum’n folks, I don’t care what your IQ tests say, but here’s a life lesson. Every turn in life is gonna give you a stumper that has aspects and facets to it that you’ve never ever seen or been through before and leaves you clueless. Your biggest problem then isn’t the problem at hand, it’s how your mind sees, perceives and delivers instructions to handle it. Every time I hit a low (which seems to be quite often the last few weeks) all the parties that make up brain decide to have simultaneous conversations and make those headaches worse than they should be. Sometimes they even toss in random topics that have no correlation to the problem at hand. However, that being said, it’s easier to just let your mind sink and drop to the bottom of the abyss you always feared you faced, instead of swimming against the force of the currents pulling you down and fighting to break through the surface. I won’t lie, but during these past few weeks it’s been really difficult to try and drum up inspiration in any shape, size or form…and when you see results that crush that sense if not feeling of ‘Man yeah I know I’ve been making progress’ it just makes the digging for inspiration harder. What I’m trying to say folks, is that, ultimately everything is a mind game…the biggest thing in the Universe that fucks around with you is your head space. The only person who can talk you into or out of something is yourself. No matter how many speeches you hear of don’t ever give up on your dreams and all that other stuff, end of the day it’s what if not how your mind decides and perceives things that determines the outcome. You don’t need fire, you don’t need fuel to ignite and spur you on towards drive and determination…all you need is a moment of quiet, peace and clarity. If things are chaotic, you MAKE the damn time ya hear? Go to the place that makes you feel safe, it could be a park, it could be the basement of your house, your backyard, a library, the grocery store, heck it could be the backseat of your car. Whatever it is, go to your calm place, the eye of your storm and have your moment of clarity…because from that moment on you KNOW what it is that you want and you REFUSE to settle for anything less than that. It is through that clarity that you really know and find the truth you’re looking for.

Yeah folks, I have to impart some of this stuff, I think the world only need one Idiot like me, and not a gazillion more. I know I ain’t a ball of sunshine wrapped in ribbons of optimism, but, hey the terms verbal carnage don’t exactly sound all sunshiney either :P. None the less, I do hope everyone’s been doing fantastically well, and I just wanna wish you all a very Happy Easter! The writing has been a bit sporadic both on here and out on Thotfaktoree, but time hasn’t been something I’ve had a lot of. But to those of y’all who’ve held on a very huge ‘Thank You’ for your patience and time. Until next time, happy adventures everyone!


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s